Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Pensive Global Thoughts

Its like the Ice Queen from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe has waved her magic wand and returned us to the "wintry" landscape of Buenos Aires. The rain falls half heatedly and its cold enough for a coat but not a heavy one. The sky has been not grey, but white since last night, as if we are inside a giant snow globe. The bright city lights reflected off this white covering and made night almost as bright as today has been. In this snow globe the snow never falls and settles, only clouds encase the city that will slowly turn to rain until none are left in a few days. For now nothing penetrates the white opaque covering and nothing leaves it.
We took advantage of our stuck situation to restock supplies and clean out the house in a fervor unlike this house has seen in...I'm guessing no one knows how long. I even cleaned the fronts of some of the cabinets. Uli, Dan, and I are all that remain for now, and we rest for what else can one do when it rains here.
Uli has recovered well from the mild shock of his anorexic friend's death. Two nights ago he received a call that I thought must have been humorous. He was laughing so hard. Minutes later I realized he was actually sobbing. Why, he asked me later. One friend won't eat, and another with no sense. He has also found out this week that a good friend has been diagnosed with HIV. I was overwhelming for us and we didn't even know these people. Paola was over and we cooked in silence for a while searching for appropriate topics to discuss in the background of Uli's grief. Now he is wandering around singing a tuneless tune at the top of his lungs so all seems to have gone back to normal, but I couldn't help but think that a lot of people are dieing at this moment. Two people Josh and Steph knew from the Berkshires, a girl from my neighborhood who was about to leave for her freshman year at college, and a friend of a friend here drowned last week. The white impenetrable sky is causing thoughts that normally float free to bounce around and demand resolution. I still feel confident that taking off, leaving my family, and seeking adventure in unknown lands is the best way for me to be living my life to the fullest. At the same time, can my life ever be complete without my family? The only resolution I have come to is that life is about sacrifice no matter what you choose. You can truly never have your cake and eat it too. Lucky for me the cakes here are pretty cheap...but eating too many is partially responsible for my waistline's expansion beyond the point of comfort while wearing all of my jeans. So as I search for a balanced diet, I will also be searching for a balance in my life. A better balance of work and fun, time alone and time with friends, English and Spanish, thoughts of the future and thoughts of now, Internet time and book time, and any more that I can come up with. If I can find a balance in this crazy Metropolis I hope that I can find one anywhere.

1 comment:

erin said...

very eloquently stated, Julia. Take care (and let's talk soon)